Some of you may know that I've
recently been considering going back to university to pursue a Masters in
Photography. I've been agonising over it endlessly, but I've finally made my
mind up, I will not be pursuing it further. I've got to offer some big thanks
to everyone for their kind advice and help, particularly Paul Gaffney and
Tom Wilkinson who have given me full, honest and unbiased accounts of their
experiences.
It's been one of the hardest
decisions I've had to make in recent years, but when I weighed everything up,
it comes down to my photography. It's always about the work for me, it's the
centre of my life, a point around which all else resolves. And I've passed the
point in my artistic life where I'd derive significant benefits from an MA.
It boils down to this; how much am I
already the ’reflective practitioner’ that is the end game of a Photography MA?
Call me arrogant, call me naive, but I think I've already achieved that, at
least to a degree. (If you'll forgive the pun!). A few years ago I would have
benefited, I can see that now, but at that time I could neither afford the time
nor the expense. In some ways I regret the missed opportunity because I'm sure
it would have been enjoyable and intellectually stimulating. But there's also
the quiet inner satisfaction that I've already achieved that goal. I've already
developed a substantial critique of photography, and in particular landscape
photography, of myself, who emerged from that genre. In many ways there's not
much an MA would offer me, except perhaps the ability to express these things
better, more clearly. Yet as much as I enjoy reading and writing about
photography it is peripheral, it's not, for me, the end game. It's about the
work.
Photography isn't a hobby, not
something I do to escape the world, and it's not a career, it is a precious
part of me, a way I define myself. Most of my non-photographic friends can't
quite grasp this, but you'll just have to trust me. It's about the work.
None of this means I will stop
learning or stop developing. It was many years ago that I passed the point where I realised the more you
know the more you recognise there is to know. Rather than
closing a door, these ruminations have revealed a bright, hopeful future of
more self-directed research, thought and questioning. And in each new series
I've realised, in part, I remake myself anew. I also appreciate the answers
aren't to be found elsewhere; they have become questions only I can answer, and
perhaps only I will ask. I'm too far down the road, too mature as an artist. It
really is all about the work and I'm doing that anyway.
A whole unlovely order that night would transubstantiate, lend some grace to. Mametz Wood. |